is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
