why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I am naked and annoyed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
