someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
