And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
