Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
