Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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