ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
