Your mouth is God's brothel.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
