I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
