She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
