she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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