Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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