when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
