What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
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