I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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