Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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