apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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