apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
