A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
