Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
