When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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