Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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