I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
