tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
