I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Too much gin, very little bucket
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I want a musical about memes.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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