what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
