well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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