When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
