Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
