whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
