she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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