Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
