Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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