I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
