he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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