Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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