i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
