Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sarcasm needs its own font
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize