She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
