There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
