turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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