Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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