DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
