dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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