All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
