I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
