cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
