Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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