I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This house was built for laser tag.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
