I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
