Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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