Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
