I bet he comes in French.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
