Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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