i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
