Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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