I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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