We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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