Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
