i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
