Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
