glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize