Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
