We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
