Fuck appropriateness.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
