Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
