About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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