i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
