i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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